Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Gotham City Sky Lights

Why does every building in Gotham City have a sky light? And if the eccentric criminals don't break through it, then Batman will. Does this mean that when Batman goes to a crime, he's all like "Let's see. Where is that skylight? Oh... It looked like the criminals have already broken through it. I guess I'll just us the door... Wait, is that another sky light? Nope... Maybe there is still some glass in the sky light that isn't broken that I could jump through."

Canada: America's Hat

I keep seeing people wearing a T-shirt that says "Canada is America's Hat". I don't really get why this is funny. Is it because Canada is north of us? Does Mexico have shirts that say "America is Mexico's Hat. And so is Canada. They are both one big hat. A sombrero, I guess." This will probably lead to Americans wearing shirts that say, "America is not Mexico's hat. Mexico is America's penis. And Florida is America's smaller penis that is used for boning ugly chicks. And California is another penis that is an erection and is pressed against the body so nobody sees that it is an erection."

I guess then that France would start wearing shirts that said, "America has so many dicks because it is always fucking over Africa and the Middle East" And then America would wear shirts that said, "Stay out of this France. First of all, who asked you. And second of all, we wouldn't fuck Africa because Africa has AIDs." And then Mexicans will start wearing shirts that say, "Wait, maybe America is Mexico's helmet of some sorts and Alaska is..." and these shirts will be interrupted by American shirts that say, "Shut up, Mexico! Canada is our hat. That's all."
All I'm saying is that this all seems kinda unnecessary to me.


I have an old fashion GPS. It stands for Giant Penis Syndrome. I swing my giant penis around till it hits the destination that I need to find. The main difference between my giant penis and the common man's GPS is that instead of having a Shortest Distance option, my penis only has a Long Distance option and a Longest Distance option.

Anthony Scalia Loves Docking

Today I read about how in 2003 the supreme court overruled all sodomy bans in the case of Lawrence v. Texas. Justice Scalia wrote a dissent where he mentions how states should be allowed to ban anal and oral sex. It made me wonder why Scalia has no problem with penis-on-penis action (e.g. docking, frotting, etc.) Scalia says in his dissent that he has "nothing against homosexuals, or any other group, promoting their agenda through normal democratic means." So I guess penis-on-penis action is "normal democratic means" to Anthony Scalia. Pretty weird Scalia. Pretty weird.
I personally think sodomy should be legalized and taxed.